An overthinker's guide to survival

 I will open by saying this: I should practice what I preach more often, so consider this the first step to recovery.

Whenever someone says “you’re getting ahead of yourself” or “that’s too far ahead, I can't think about that now” I like to respond with “it’s because I am playing chess, not checkers”. It is the perfect answer; it's not that I am getting ahead of myself, I’m just being strategic with my time management and thinking for the long run.

Except I am not. I am overthinking.

Sometimes overthinking helps; we think ahead and prepare ourselves for the multiple possible outcomes, as if playing a very serious game of strategy. Every action has an equal opposite reaction (thank you, Hamilton) and is accounted for, so we are prepared for everything that comes our way. Sometimes, however, overthinking leads us down a very long winding road of possible negative outcomes, wreaking havoc to our nervous system; long gone are the hours of peace and quiet when the anxiety hits you without notice.

So, how does one survive the overthinker’s spiral? Heed not from my prior experience, but join me from this day on instead with the following advice (just don’t expect perfection, it’s not my brand).

I have a simple system (albeit flawed) for managing or living with my overthinking. Whenever I find myself in a spiral, I redirect all of that nervous effort into effective planning; every minute of every project or school assignment is planned to fill the time so that my overthinking doesn’t take over and drive me into an anxiety spiral. Only half of this system is functional, since there is a key component that it fails to address.

You can’t hide from anxiety. That is just not how the brain works.

People will tell you to try yoga, or exercise, or meditation. You will get news at the doctor that you didn’t want to hear, and people will try to cheer you up by telling you it could always be worse. You will receive news from home and go into panic mode and spin around the ways in which you can help but also how useless you are. You will lose people along the way and your overthinking will prevent you from preventing it (that vicious, vicious cycle).

Here’s the answer for survival for an overthinker: stop listening.

Your overthinking is your defense mechanism. When you sit with your thoughts and all the noise, you start feeling a lack of control. Overthinking gives you that control. Yes, it might lead you into a potential spiral, but let’s be honest, were you not going to spiral from all the noise regardless? 

Allow yourself to overthink. Allow your brain to go into planning mode and get all of the dark out of its system. Find someone who will not judge your spiral and will listen without trying to fix it, or won’t think that you are too much. Find a village for yourself that will care for you unconditionally, even at your lowest. Stop listening to those who want to fix you. Do whatever you need to protect your mental health. Just remember to ground yourself and to give yourself some grace.